i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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