It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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