If that was your dad, he is hot
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
