so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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