Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
