Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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