are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
