Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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