It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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