Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
