: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
