How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
