After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
