it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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