Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize