I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
