it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
