Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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