I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize