I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
