I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
high people should be assigned attendants
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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