I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
