you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
