I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
