We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
