whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
