i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
