I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
