i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
