It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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