I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
