Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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