nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You ruined the universe
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
