Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize