And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
then he tried to convert me to islam
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
