HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
