Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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