peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
