Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
