playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
