there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
