doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
