is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize