you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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