goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can you bring me the toilet please
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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