I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
