i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
it's great music for shaving your balls
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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