i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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