Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
