I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
