brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
