just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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