Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
