We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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