She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
