these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
