I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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