the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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