ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Randomize
