I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
