I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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