My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
