Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
