WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
