I can text with my tongue
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize