I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
