i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
