dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
