Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
