I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
