What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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