I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
