Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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